ATTACHMENTS

Who conceived the dependency culture of our era? When did it become the norm that we must accommodate the world around us as we process our imaginations? Where has a person ever been successful in the pursuit of a goal while following all the instructions of men?

It is no doubt that we form bonds in the course of our lives that might be social, economic, political, religious, emotional or psychological. We bind our own minds into thinking cautiously before taking decisions. Oftentimes, a government does or refrains from doing something because it is threatened with economic and political sanctions. A spouse remains in an abusive relationship because of the emotional and psychological dependency developed. A religious man adjusts his behaviour when among fellow believers for fear of being judged ungodly. 

In our daily life, we are ever so conscious of our surroundings. We do not desire to hurt those we love so we avoid doing what they dislike. We hate to be ‘judged’ so we alter our perceptions and deeds to fit to situations accordingly.

Most of the time, it is easier for us to escape the snares of distant acquaintances and people that do not directly have an impact over our lives. It is not such a great deal if we dismiss the observations of a person we randomly came across on the streets or a person that will never have any direct influence over us. It becomes problematic when it is someone close to us. We would not dare go against our families and friends, our teachers or our religious leaders… We would rather do as they say than go as we think. We are never ready to challenge the logics of those who influence our lives directly. And this is exactly why so many eagles lay in chicken yards not knowing they have wings to soar through the highest skies.

As much as we must be considerate of other people’s views and beliefs, it must never be so as to imprison our own. A mother might firmly resist the idea of her child going abroad to further his studies but, as Camare Laye once wrote about his own mother, it might simply be because she dreads the idea that her child will have to face the unknown alone. 

A friend might oppose our choice of a spouse but it might simply be because they wanted that person to marry them instead. A husband might not accept that his wife goes on a business trip but that might only be because he thinks her to be the most beautiful and fears that another man sets eyes on her.

 In all scenarios, giving up on what we believe to satisfy those we care about means we will never be able to attain personal success and satisfaction in our own life. As much as we feel proud when our direct circle of friends and family are happy with our deeds, we must never forget that most of the time the majority of them will not appreciate the value of our decisions and visions. And this applies to both the natural and spiritual realms.

In today’s world where everything is ever so centred around consent and approval, it is important to appreciate that we do not always need approval from human beings in order to set on our goals. To the serious minds whose hearts burn to go beyond the conventions and norms, life is not a status shared on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram. 

Life is not a social media platform where we can post our experiences and dreams and only allow people to like them otherwise we block them. It is important that we distinguish between what is real and what is virtual. In the platform of life, we have likes and dislikes buttons. People are allowed to agree or disagree.

It is not to say that we must always dismiss every feedback that does not concord with our vision. No. It is only by reflecting silently on what is said elsewhere that we come to terms with whether or not we deeply desire to see our dream come to fruition. It is only by listening to the pros and cons according to others’ points of view that we decide whether our own logic weighs in the scale.  

What is important is to understand that our father’s vision was given to him and him alone. It was his personal goal and he must live his entire life pursuing and achieving that goal. 

Our own vision, likewise, is ours alone. We might well explain its ups and downs till tomorrow and the next day but nobody will ever understand it better than ourselves; they were not called for that particular task. 

The people we hold most dear to our heart will sometimes become a burden too heavy on us. Our desire to please them will keep us on the ground and we will fail to fly high. Our constant fear of not being in accordance with their beliefs will be a curse that will prevent us from achieving our personal goal.

We must therefore be aware of the singularity of each call and understand that an eagle who does not rid itself of unnecessary feathers will fail to discover the wonders beyond blue skies. So long as we are persuaded that the vision we hold dear to our soul is in accordance with our divine destiny, we must not strive for anyone’s consent. 

Great minds that this world has known were burnt to the stake, imprisoned, cast away in mental hospitals. Few saw their work being given the value they deserved while still alive. Many that we call geniuses today; ideas that are the very foundation of our societies today were dismissed as a fool’s tale when they were first expressed. It is only in persevering that the boldness of these perceptions became appreciated. 

It might take centuries for anyone to realise just how great an idea we had. It might not be decades until a book we published attracts the right attention. But what does it matter? We would have nevertheless achieved our personal goal. Our personal goal was never to manage to align everybody behind us. Rather, it was to give life to the embryo that was deposited in our mind. Whether they agree or disagree, it does not matter that they see blue what we see red. Time always rewards the patient and one day the stars will shine on a work that endured critics and opposition.