A few hours ago, I had a clear idea of what to write for the
blog. I went to my room, decided to light a candle and set to write. But as I
picked up the box of matches, I made a wrong movement, dropping every single
match on the floor. ‘No way!’ I sighed, annoyed that I’d have to clean this up.
Without thinking, I grabbed a big chunk and placed it back inside the box. The
box filled rather quickly, living half the matches on the floor. For a second I
thought: well all these came from this box so how come they can’t fit back in? The
answer was simple; I was putting them back in the wrong order. I either had to
take them out and align them methodically to fit everything back in or bin the
rest.
With much sighing I restarted the
process, placing them back in one by one, in order, until every single one of
them fitted perfectly back inside. It took a little longer to fix the matches,
but the process changed the subject of my article completely. It made me reflect
on how easy it is for us to give up. How often we let go of opportunities,
experiences and lives we could have persisted to acquire.
It is easy to feel disheartened today. The average job
seeker would be familiar with the famous ‘thank you for applying for the role …
unfortunately… please do try again later …’. After sending about twenty
applications, it starts to feel rather personal. We wonder what is wrong with us;
why nobody wants to hire us. We give it another push. Yet for many of us, the
misfortune of polite rejection does not seem to take a leave. So, we get discouraged.
We either lower our boundaries and settle for less, or we simply give up.
But actually, what if we take a lesson from my recent
experience with the matches? Oftentimes we keep going, and that is the problem.
Anxious to secure a job at all costs, we multiply applications without
necessarily realising quality is lacking. After a while, it really does feel
like there is no hope for us because who sends a hundred applications to no
avail? This method of nonstop pursuit is problematic in all aspects of life.
It
does a student very little good to cram a whole essay in for the exam, if they
cannot restructure those thoughts to fit the actual essay question. It does not
help to have loads of money if we are not good at budgeting, just like it does not
help to look for a relationship if we are not stable within our own self. It is
okay to pause. It is okay to reflect. It is okay to try again later.
A break does not necessarily mean a failure. When we stop
for a little while and take a break from whatever it is that is bothering us,
we get time to process and digest the situation better. Applying this method
helps us come back with better and clearer plans. It allows us to be strategic
about whatever it is we are doing. We regain energy and strength. We come back
better equipped for the task at hand.
However, unless we actually spot the ‘issue’ in what we are
doing, taking a break will only be a waste of time. If I hadn’t identified that
putting matches back in the way I was doing was the problem, I would have spent
time doing the same thing with the same frustration. We stop to clear our mind,
to have a more holistic and objective view of the situation. That way, we
figure out with better understanding different ways to go about the issue to
produce the results we need.
That is where most of us need to work harder. Once we have
spotted our own mistakes, we must have enough courage to try again. It’s too
easy to take ‘no’ for an answer. Rejection today won’t necessarily mean
rejection tomorrow and what seems like a failure today can be turned into a positive
experience, if we work on it. I remember applying for a Vacation Scheme in 2016
to a firm I liked. Before long, I received the usual ‘no thank you’ email. I
had to sit back and revisit my own application, to understand exactly what I
had done wrong. When I spotted those mistakes, I rewrote a better application
the following year, and I do have a Training Contract with that firm today.
Perseverance is key to success. It doesn’t matter how many
times we are knocked down. It matters how willing we are to stand back up and
try again. In most aspects of life, we will not get things right the first time.
‘Practice makes perfect’ has a lot of truth in it. If we learn to sit back and
reflect before we carry on, a clearer path will be laid right before us,
leading to sometimes unexpected but better pastures. In it all, it’s the
willingness to recognise that something isn’t quite right, it is the ability to
stop and assess the situation, and it is the readiness to try again with better
equipment that will determine the outcome of any given situation.
